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Who Links Here
Quick Explanation
05.31.05 (2:19 pm)   [edit]
You may have noticed that I removed the link to my x2b's blog.  I just wanted to say that it isn't anything hostile or pissy, just trying to move on.  When I feel more up to it, I'll most likely put it back :)

For now, it seems best to have a little space... kinda hard to feel divorced when you're in each other's faces all the time. 

Mkay?  So you all play nice. :) 
 
Memorial Day
05.30.05 (8:22 am)   [edit]
Memorial Day used to be just a cool 3-day weekend, and then something clicked - it's much much more than hamburgers and the "kickoff" for summer.

In memory of Cpl. Otmer E. Anderson, 1896-1918, USMC, killed in Belleau Woods, France. He was the first of his family to enlist and served for 2 years prior to being killed in action. Belleau Woods was a major campaign and June 6, the day my cousin was killed, was described as the most catastrophic date in Marine history to date - nearly 1100 Marines lost their lives that day. For more: http://www.worldwar1.com/dbc/...

In memory of Cpl. Herbert A. Anderson, 1928-1950, US Army, first reported as MIA, later confirmed killed in action, South Korea. I've corresponded with men who were treated by Herbert's unit. It was quite touching to hear their stories and feel their gratitude all these years later.

In memory of my great-great-great-grand father, George Rollins, and his son Henry, who fought in the American Civil War. West Virginia became a separate state during the Civil War, splitting from Virginia and siding with the North. Internally there was great conflict within families, pitting brother against brother or in our case, cousin vs. cousin. Keep in mind the strength of blood-ties in the still-clan-like world of Appalachia - it took something mighty powerful to divide families in this way.

In memory of all those who served and gave the ultimate sacrifice; for all those who returned home with their lives altered forever; for all the families and loved ones; for all those serving today; for all who support the troops overseas in their hearts and prayers; thank you. A deeply reverent thank you.

And finally, for Dave - no one personifies strength of character like you. I'm selfish enough to be immensely relieved the day you retired from the Army. Thank you for your 20+ years of service, and thank you for being my friend for so many years.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone.
 
Geekitude
05.27.05 (11:50 am)   [edit]

What exactly does it take to be considered a geek?

According to Wikipedia, a Geek is someone who is interested in technology (perhaps obsessively) or has a level of desire or involvement in a subject beyond the norm (math geek, band geek, etc.).

A Nerd is loosely defined as a highly intelligent but socially awkward person. However this seems to be regional because some areas believe Geeks to be the socially awkward ones.

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy:
If you use a PDA to remember your kids birthdays, you might be a geek.
If you can rebuild a computer but not open the hood of your car, you might be a geek.
If you use bullet points on all your lists, you might be a geek (note, none here! but only coz I couldn't get the line spacing I wanted..)
If you're anally retentive about line spacing, you might be a geek.
If you have more than one blog, you might be a geek.
If you name a pet after a computer part, you might be a geek.
If you use online dictionaries instead of paper ones :oops: ...


Is it a bad sign that I use my laptop while I watch tv, especially tblog and IMDB?

 
Zoo Day!
05.27.05 (8:06 am)   [edit]

The kids in my daughter's daycare are SO EXCITED.  They've been planning a trip to the downtown zoo for weeks now, and today is finally the day!  The weather is happily cooperating too, it is GORGEOUS today. 

I dropped Katie off this morning and the kids were so adorable.  Putting on their sunscreen, showing off their sunglasses, impersonating their favorite animals... ya just wanna hug 'em all.

What a day of firsts - first official packed lunch (oh she had fun putting snacks in the bag!), first ride on a school bus, first outing without (sniffle) parents (sniff, weep!)...

Katie's buddy for the day is Violet. Violet's daddy is their chaperone today.  She and Katie both love wearing dresses, are small for their age, and have curly hair.  I got a cute pic of them this morning showing off their shades 8) and posing like the little loonies they are.  Cute little peas in a pod!

They're going to have a beautiful day... and here I sit in the office.  :(  But I'm so proud of my girl, facing big adventures as happily and excitedly as she does.  What a cool kid.

 
Blurp - Phase 2
05.26.05 (11:13 am)   [edit]
The crud that got Katie Tuesday has attacked my intestines. Ugh.
I'd rather be homesick than home sick.
It would have been SO much cooler if Bo had won American Idol.
I shouldn't have been so surprised that there is a William Hung bobblehead doll.
But now I know what I want for my birthday!
What kind of evil bug won't even let you keep a slice of bread in your system?
One more week until the divorce hearing.
I guess I'll catch up on my movie watching today - there's certainly nothing on tv
Ugh.. or maybe just lay down :(

One downside to living alone - I ran out of toilet paper and anti-diarrhea medicine and so I had to go to the store. I had to time it between bathroom breaks and use the facilities while I was out. Ugh.

Word of the day. Ugh.
Watching Big Fish - oh lordie - pancakes. Ugh.

Mental note: when intestinal problems are ruling your body, being in a store full of food - Ugh. Double.
 
Try it - You (may) like it!
05.25.05 (10:38 am)   [edit]

Go here to hear. Click Listen Now. Don't be afraid - if you like jazz, rock, prog, folk, ballads, orchestra, acoustic, killer bass, .. or a puree of all the above, you may like it! (ooh, Bober is on, one of my favorite songs... now it's Skull Bubbles, one of my favorite songs... OOO coming up is Killer Fish! One of my FAVORITE SONGS! you see how it is!? )

If you DO like what you hear, then go HERE to see the tour schedule for June. Go, I command thee! Hear my mighty words and obey!!! OBEY!!!

If you don't like what you hear go back in 7 minutes and try again. The music styles are so varied, you'll hear something completely different!

Added incentive: If you do go to a show, I'll post a nude photo of my best feature(s) ;)

I love these guys. If anyone lives in my area and is free June 11 to babysit, let me know, mkay? Sigh.

 
Spinning Wheel...Spinning Around
05.25.05 (6:48 am)   [edit]
I have 2 songs in my brain this morning - can we say cacophony?

"Vehicle" (Thanks to Bo last night!)
and "Spinning Wheel"
Guess today is 70s reminiscing day!
 
Blurp!
05.24.05 (9:41 am)   [edit]
Nothing gets the attention of a parent like the sound of their kid barfing. She started around 11 last night and was still going strong around 1:30 this morning. We finally got some good sleep but then around 6 or so she started running a fever and she started throwing up again. Poor little thing!

How can someone who weighs 30 lbs. possibly throw up that much?

Makes my heart sink to see my usually happy and hyper daughter lying very still :(

She's feeling a bit better now, thankfully. And now, we nap.
 
A lighter note
05.23.05 (9:08 pm)   [edit]
The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.

He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night.

She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like shit today."
 
Codependent
05.23.05 (1:31 pm)   [edit]
I'd like to title this "Codependent No More" but I'm no where close!
Blatantly stolen from Dan Smith My notes are in italics, things that struck home I bolded and I cropped a few sections.

Codependence: Painful Adult Behaviors Learned in Childhood -- H. Dan Smith, EdD, MFT

codependence The condition or fact of being codependent; specifically,
a) tendency to place the needs and wants of others first and to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own,
b) continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others,
c) anxiety and boundary distortions relating to intimacy and separation,
d) difficulty expressing feelings,
e) excessive worry how others may respond to one's feelings,
f) undue fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others,
g) self-esteem dependent on approval by others,
h) tendency to ignore own values and attempt to adhere to the values of others.
yikes… batting 100 so far.

Codependence is a serious concern for many women and men in our culture. Most affected individuals do not fully realize the impact codependence has on their lives until they are adults and attempting to form and sustain stable relationships; maintaining effective relationships with their own children is also extremely stressful...

The development of codependence occurs over a fairly long period of time, and has its roots in a dysfunctional childhood upbringing. The early literature on codependence almost exclusively focused on alcoholism in the family of origin. The label "codependent" was given to a spouse or child of an alcoholic who exhibited the typical reactions of becoming responsible for the alcoholic parent or spouse by covering up his or her alcohol use for fear of discovery, and by suppressing feelings within the home at any cost. …  

Another type of family that appears to induce codependence is one that is overly rigid, dogmatic, or autocratic, where there may be no alcohol abuse or dependence. These over-controlled families emphasize discipline, regimentation, and order as primary values, and the only rewards given are for compliance with strict and often illogical family rules. In such families, children soon learn that any positive feelings about self are dependent on the mood of someone else, usually their father or mother. From the outside, these families may appear to be well organized and smoothly run, but there is a great deal of pain and secrecy behind the public veneer.  (Oh Yeah) ...

Ironically, many of the subtle clues exhibited in childhood and adolescence that might indicate there is a codependent-in-the-making are highly valued and rewarded behaviors. Children who are extremely compliant, overly willing to please, and easily yield to the wishes of others are frequently seen as "good kids." Parents love them, teachers love them, too. Only later in life when compliance means that their own needs never get met, does one come to realize that always being a "good kid" somehow relates to the misery of codependence in adulthood. This is not to suggest that all "good kids" become codependent adults. Only those children with the underpinnings of a dysfunctional upbringing are susceptible to becoming codependent. …

Research indicates there is greater incidence of codependence for females than for males... Due to differences in upbringing, boys have the "option" of expressing their pain through rage and various forms of antisocial or violent behavior... A typical adulthood scenario illustrating the difference between a boy and a girl raised in the same dysfunctional home might be that while she is miserably unhappy in her marriage and painfully aware of her own codependence, he is an abusive alcoholic. …

Ok Ok, I KNOW I'm codependent - I learned at an early age to be quiet, obedient, not make waves, and to never reveal any negative feelings. But now I'm 42 - how do I get fixed? How do I stop the circle of nonsense so that I can feel sane the rest of my life and not drag Katie down the same road?
 
Parents.
05.23.05 (10:36 am)   [edit]

Ya know, sometimes they just plain make ya crazy.  And I'm taking notes - things NOT to do.

As a kid and even now, it seems "the church" comes first for them.  
Sorry, can't come to Katie's recital because Dad retires in 2 weeks and we don't want to miss a Sunday before we leave.  WTF?  Use your damn vacation time!  Who cares what "they" think?
Can't be there for her birthday, got a meeting.  I lost it.  I asked them how many grandkids do they expect to have, and how many birthdays do they think they're going to get?  They changed plans and now can magically make it to both events.  Damn straight they'd better.... grrr...

The biggest recent disappointment was that they couldn't come be with me next weekend for the divorce hearing.  I asked several other friends to come be my witness or I'd have to delay the court date.  I finally found someone to make it (bless Judy) - now I get a note from my mom that my dad can make it after all.  I told them that wouldn't be necessary.  First time I've told them "no"!

It's a weird thing, being a preacher's and a teacher's kid.  Can you imagine the guilt - I'd get so angry that Dad's responsibilities to the church or Mom's to her students were more important than me or my brother?  I'd get pissed then feel horrible - Dad was visiting people in the hospital or helping a family cope with a death, or Mom was preparing lessons for her students, giving the urban kids glimpses of the world out there they'd probably not see otherwise...  How could I compete with that?  How could I belittle that?  Still, I seethed when their needs come before mine.  Seemingly any time I needed my folks, they were absent. 

This pattern is engrained so deeply that I hardly notice it - other people come first and I'm not important.  It's something that I carry into each relationship, then get pissed because I'm not high on their list.  Well, DUH.  That's the way I set it up.  Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

I sense the little kid in me craving attention and stomping off when my feelings get hurt if I feel I'm being ignored.  I sense it when I say "oh, ok, you can do all those other things, I don't mind" then I sit and wait for them to come back to me.  I hate being so damned codependent.  I at least recognize it now, but am having trouble fixing it.  I'm trying to become more self-reliant - but 40+ years of training are hard to undo. 

 
Love Actually
05.22.05 (8:38 pm)   [edit]
WHAT a keeno movie. I didn't watch it when it was originally out because it sounded syrupy lovey-dovey, and while thinking of ending a marriage - well, it didn't seem like a good thing to watch at the time.

Bill Nighy had me in tears, doing that aged-rock-star thing so over-the-top... Brilliant.
Alan Rickman (everything), Martin Freeman (Office Space, HitchHikers Guide) ... brilliant.
Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson ... Brilliant.

I just loved it. I had seen the ending twice but never the beginning until today - just adorable.

Hug your honey and see it today. If you don't have a honey, get a glass of wine and a pillow to squish.
...

One tiny downside.. I got it via Netflix. The point of me joining Netflix is so that I don't run out and buy a DVD of every movie I think looks interesting. This is the first movie I've rented and now I can't wait to buy it! Lord I hope this isn't a sign of things to come, I have 9 more movies on my list!

I can't remember who recommended that I see it but thank you, I certainly did enjoy it :)
 
Lovely Day!
05.21.05 (8:03 pm)   [edit]
Today was mid 70s, low humidity, blue skies, gentle breezes. Stunningly lovely.

I was comatose most of the morning - don't know WHAT was going on, but I couldn't lift my head to save my life. Katie played quietly and snuggled on my lap most of the morning which was a big help. Finally I felt good around 11 and as I wondered what to do with ourselves, the phone rang. It was Judy, inviting us up. Alright!

So, tank tops and shorts donned, we headed over. We planted 2 or 3 flats of flowers and it looks SO nice. Katie thoroughly enjoyed digging in the dirt and then forever blowing bubbles. We were sufficiently tired and sunned and sweaty by the end of the day and called for pizza, ate ourselves silly then headed home. As soon as we pulled in the driveway, Katie spotted a neighbor-girl and we headed over there to play. After about an hour I told Katie we HAVE to go home. We sat down in the recliner for a minute before heading upstairs and now she's passed out on my lap (which makes using a laptop rather interesting!) My snoozy girl! All worn out from being out in fresh air all day.

So now I'm kicked back, resting my weary feet, watching some NASCAR, and letting thoughts randomly float around...
Damn, this NASCAR All-Star race looks more like a rock concert than a race.
Pamela Anderson was the Grand Marshall. More like Grand Mammaries! ;)
I'm a lucky lady to have good friends like I do. Damn lucky.
I hate the commercial of the lady yelling "help me" and its about a check-card.
Dale Jr is cute as hell. I still miss his daddy tho.
We've had birthday cake since Tuesday. I'm gonna pitch the rest, can't stands no more!
No matter how crabby they get when they're tired, kids are adorable when they're sleeping.
Somehow, we lose that as we get older. The drool, snoring, etc... not so cute.
Night-races are sexy though. The cars are so shiny :)
Why am I such a redneck? I LOVE the sound of engines revving.
I'm with Katie, sleep sounds mighty good right now.
I feel very content. I've had a lovely day :)
Peace, yall!

 
Katie's First Dance Recital
05.20.05 (12:31 pm)   [edit]

Phew.
$60 costume
$15 new pair ballet slippers
$11 a seat to get in
$50 for a copy of the DVD (which I just may pass on but knowing me...)

CRIKEY!

... but it's her first one and she's SO cute ...    
The big show is June 18 and the kids are SO excited. 
This will be her first time on stage, I'm hoping she enjoys it!

 
in my pants
05.20.05 (8:40 am)   [edit]

HAPPY FRIDAY everyone!   in my pants!

May the pants be with you.
I sense a disturbance in the pants.   (thanks, Chris!)
ROFL!  Wow, that came out odd.  Ummm.  Nevermind!

Two weeks till Divorce Court.  I'll be SO glad when it's over.

I'm a very happy birdie today.  I'm sure it has nothing with the Zoloft, caffeine, and chocolate I've consumed thus far today.

Wonder if HitchHiker's Guide is still at the theaters, maybe I'll take Katie to see it tomorrow.  Anyone wanna come along?
.. in my pants?!?  HAR!!!!

 
Star Wars Pick Up Line!
05.19.05 (5:41 pm)   [edit]
Your Star Wars Pickup Line

"I will show you the true nature of the Force."




ROFL!
 
To Do's To-Done!
05.19.05 (2:30 pm)   [edit]
I've knocked off 5 of my "to do's".  Most were accomplished with quick emails or phone calls.  Others like "get report requirements" take much longer.  But I've made great headway and that feels good.  Yay! :D

The most frustrating task: KPIs - Key Performance Indicators.  Through some quality program, it was decided that we should all have measurable goals and track them.  I have a horrific set of spreadsheets to track software availability. Only it doesn't REALLY track software availability.  I was told not to include things less than a 2 hour outage, unless there are multiples of them.  A reboot takes about 30 minutes - so if there's an emergency reboot required, it doesn't count.  If there are 2 reboots required,that wouldn't count either. 

*blink*.  I'm a math major, and I object, your honor!  30 minutes is not Zero!  An engineer searching for data and has to wait 30 minutes IS inconvenienced.  Not horrifically, but it IS an outage and should count.  This data doesn't mean much, otherwise.  Sigh. Anyway, it's my job to track what they want tracked.

Short story long, I rebel by putting off updating the spreadsheets.  That'll SHOW THEM!  Their fake data will be... umm.. faker! 

After a 4 month stall (4 months!  I'm good :)), I'm updating today and found some HUGE arithmetic errors in the spreadsheets... which means the faker fake numbers are erroneous, even by MY standards.  And it goes back to 2004! Gulp! 

Me, Little Miss Mathematics Major who gets all high and mighty about the numbers not reflecting truth, is guilty of a stupid error which only counted half of what WAS reported.   :oops:  Oops!
DOH!
 
Musings
05.19.05 (10:50 am)   [edit]

As I observed during staff (teleconference) meeting this morning with the boss's boss's boss, my attention span - even when I'm doing my BEST to be attentive - is about 20 minutes.  The length of a Dora episode.  I would bet money the two are related.

I'm SO SO SO SO glad to be back on friendly terms with my many-year friend Dave.  I missed you!  And I WILL be bouncy about it, OH yes, I will!  (bouncy bouncy bounce)   Ouch, my eyes...   ;)

It is pouring rain and thundering.  I left my bedroom window open and my laptop on and plugged in.  Grrrk!
My feet are cold.  Socks might have been a good idea. 
I love Diet Cherry Coke! 
I'm not thinking about chocolate. I'm not thinking about chocolate  :(

Heywood Banks is one of the FUNNIEST human beings on the planet. I would love to meet him and tell him I want to fondle his brains, he's just so good!  From the sounds of it, he would take that as a compliment, not a scary stalker thing. 

A kid on a mini-trampoline:  fun. 
A cat sleeping on a mini-trampoline:  funny. 
A kid leaping onto the mini-tramp while the cat sleeps:  Hilarious (for two of us (sorry Toby))

Ya know how sometimes if you ignore something long enough, it'll go away?  Bills are not one of those things.

My nose is very sparkly.  Katie decided it needed glittery makeup this morning.  EXACTLY the feature I want to draw attention to!  :shock:

During said boss meeting this morning, I went through my tablet where I take notes from meetings, phone calls, etc.  I found TEN action items that I've forgotten to follow through on.  Lawdie it's a miracle I'm still employed.

I found my great-grandfather's WWI Draft Card online today.  Now I know he had brown hair and brown eyes.  Nobody knew before, he was white-headed when everyone still living knew him.  Cool!

Lightning flash!  Hit Save!  Hit SAVE! 
I also think I ought to get 5 of those to-do's to-done to-day.  Toodles!
May your pants be happy today!
S.
 
Beck and Katie
05.18.05 (2:39 pm)   [edit]

Listening to Beck's CD "Guero".  OCH!  I love it! 

I'm always talking about how cute and sweet Katie is - well, here's a pic I snapped today just after she awoke from a nap.  Whatever the boy across from her said, she's got that "look" that tells me 'We Are NOT Amused."  ROFL!

 
What's Your Star Wars Name?
05.18.05 (1:48 pm)   [edit]
Straight from blogthings.com :











Your Star Wars Name and Title








Your Star Wars Name: Shewa Rocha


Your Star Wars Title: Nerlem of Semaj




 
What is Your Star Wars Name and Title
 
The Big #4
05.18.05 (6:43 am)   [edit]
My crazy parents gave her a mini-trampoline for her birthday! Safety-wise: It's well padded and very stable (I still have scars on my chin from my own trampoline incident as a kid). She loves it and can't wait to invite all her little buddies over to jump.

The kids at daycare were a hoot. I love to just start singing a song quietly and then one child comes to hear, then another, then another, then another! I feel like a magnet. Then I start getting fidgety coz there are too many people in my space :)

The cake turned out to be quite humongous. The kids (especially the little boys, go figure!) did their best to eat it all but there's plenty of white and chocolate cake left, just come on by! PLEASE.

It was amusing taking the folks to Katie's favorite restaurant - Chinese food. My dad hates it. So he had pizza, french fries, pineapple and olives. ROFL! But he was a good sport about it. The waiters brought her a birthday dessert. Oh my lord this thing was HUGE. Cake covered in a mountain of soft-white ice cream, with fortune cookies stuck on the side for ears, cashews used for eyes, nose, and mouth, oodles of sprinkles, and an ice cream cone upside down on top for a hat. She ate a bit, mangled a bit, and let grandfather have some. It was very cute!

Then, Katie's favorite part of the day - coming home and playing outside like a little maniac for an hour. Which was good, burn that sugar out of your system, baby!

All in all, quite a lovely day. I was reminiscent of 4 years ago - labor, the c-section, how tiny she was, how I felt completely at a loss of what to do, and how proud I am of how well she's doing today. It's so amazing how quickly the time is passing.

Katie-bug, I love you more and more every day, and I always will.
XOXO,
Mom
 
Happy Birthday, Katie!
05.17.05 (6:54 am)   [edit]
My darling girl is 4 years old today. She dressed herself this morning and is very excited to have a Strawberry Shortcake day :)

Happy birthday, little love!!
 
Stress Relief
05.16.05 (9:43 am)   [edit]

I was at Staples yesterday - mmm office supplies, pant pant pant! - and saw this thing called "Morf Ball", a stress relief/squeeze ball.  I just opened the package this morning and OH MY GOD.  Look what happens:


It is a very jelly-like ball and as you squeeze it (as illustrated in the left part of the pic) it morphs into another color.  Mine is blue and changes to yellow.  I squeezed it one time and instantly felt no stress at all - because I was laughing my damn head off! 

So if you've ever wanted to have someone by the balls, get one of these things and give it a squeeze!  You'll feel better in no time!

 
Animal X on Animal Planet
05.15.05 (9:57 pm)   [edit]
I know I'm showing a large amount of geekiness by admitting I'm watching this program :) Interesting show, very odd narrator. Robert Stack would have been great - but this guy is just creepy.

Tonight's episode - looking for Texas Bigfoot. They're hearing primate-like sounds and finding tree limbs broken and twisted all around their camp. The "youngsters" doing the search are interesting. The creepy narrator-dude is probably going to give me nightmares. He's just a little too wild-eyed for comfort.

I like things just a wee bit out of the norm. When I was a kid, my favorite things to read were mysteries. Nancy Drew, Trixie Belden, Hardy Boys. When I got a bit older, things like Easter Island, the Nazca lines, Stonehenge, UFOs, all captivated me. My parents could have squashed my interest early, being good God-fearing church folk but they indulged me. Now I look on that as brave on their part and damned supportive of a questioning mind. Yay them!

The two most intriguing books I've read recently have been "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown and on the bestseller list for ages now, and "Journeys from the Center of the Earth". This is a gorgeous book about geology by super hot Scotsman Dr. Iain Stewart, a companion book to the tv show "Hot Rocks" on Discovery channel. He's taken the angle of how civilization's beginning was influenced by the materials around them - therefore the geology of the area. I'm not doing it justice, but trust me - it's quite fascinating! Plus it's got the 2 S's - Science and Scottish accents. I can't imagine a hotter combination ;) Isn't that sad?!

Oh, yeah. I'm... which is it, a nerd or a geek? I couldn't troubleshoot a PC to save my life (good Lord, I typed "shave"! ROFL) but I think people that can do that are hot. I guess that makes me weird :) Cool. Being "normal" can be so boring and predictable.
 
Billy
05.14.05 (12:08 pm)   [edit]
This guy is SO cool. If you're not familiar with his work as a comic you simply must check him out. Now. Go to Netflix or Amazon and order something of his. Go ahead, I'll wait... meanwhile I'll just ogle his lovely hair...
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Back now? Keen. Let's continue :) I know I'm totally crazy about Scottish accents - particular Glaswegian - but DAMN. He's just wild and crazed and funny and the lilt of the voice... och! Divine.

I bought a video set via Ebay "Billy Connolly's World Tour of Scotland". It's such fun! It's a tour of the country narrated by Billy - loads of history and intercut with Billy's stand up. I've had the video for awhile but haven't been able to watch it just yet. Billy's language isn't exactly for young ears ;) Today is Katie's day with her dad so I'm in my jammies all day watching movies and stuff. Bliss! An in-house vacation! And I'm spending it with a Scotsman! Exclamatorily Groovy!! And Stuff!!

Now I'm homesick for a place I've never been before. I must get to Scotland in the next couple of years. Must. You think I'm kidding? THIS is my serious face.

Ooooh. Wonder if Billy would be my personal tour guide ;) Or Gerry! http://img.photobucket.com/al... I'd die, just faint dead away, from sheer delight.

I'm feeling guilty though, sitting in my comfy chair, wearing jammies, lazing around all day - but screw it. It's my day off.

Happy Saturday, all!
 
I AM the Supreme Idiot
05.13.05 (2:50 pm)   [edit]
I got my new toy last night and...  OH!  My new toy!  I forgot to tell ya. I was about to cancel an old credit card when I realized I had never cashed in any of those stupid rewards points things.  Well I had over 55000 of the damn things (they remind me of tbucks) and I started to browse around to see what I could get.  I got SO EXCITED!  I had enough to get a new PDA! I got a Palm Tungsten T2!  Ok, the T2 model is a couple of years old but it's hella better than my old old OLD Palm so Nyah! And it was "free"!

I thought it was odd that it was so much shorter than my old Palm.  Then I noticed there was no graffiti pad - odd, how was I to put in the text?  It took me 30 minutes to figure out that it EXPANDS.  You tug on the top and bottom to extend it (kinda like a dining room table..)  DOH!  

Good Lord. I'm too stupid to deserve such a spiffy toy.  But I'm keeping it, anyway!!!   And I guess I'll break down and RTFM, dammit. 
 
in my pants
05.12.05 (7:56 pm)   [edit]
"Old-timers" may remember we did this awhile back. Take a song or movie title, or favorite phrase, and take on the phrase "in my pants".

Some examples for you:
Happily ever after in my pants.
7 Up in my pants
XXX in my pants
Black Beauty in my pants
.. :)
 
Tblog Posse to the Rescue!
05.12.05 (8:54 am)   [edit]
Our pal JT needs some good ole hillbilly-style justice.  Read her post and if you're with me, we attack the evil-doers at dawn Friday! 

Honestly.  It's bad enough for a complete stranger to walk up to a pregnant woman and say something horridly tacky - but when it comes from your own mom and grandmother, I say we step in and set 'em straight!
 
To All the Guys I've Loved Before.. (well, some)
05.11.05 (1:11 pm)   [edit]

I've been very mopey today so I'm going to sit here and think of past boyfriends (oh THIS should cheer me up).

Albert - my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first fist fight when he tried to go too far (I was 12, I think).  I learned to keep my guard up and knee the 'nads  (hell, he was a foot taller than me).  Damn good kisser, though.

Steve H - my first love, I pined madly for him in the summer while we were apart and hated him passionately when I learned he had been seeing another girl.  Big green eyes, strong drummer arms... looked a LOT like Chris Makepeace, the kid in "Meatballs" and "My Bodyguard".  Steve had a sad life. I wanted to help him.  Probably sign #1 that codependence would rule my life!  Last I heard (20 years ago!) he was in jail in Florida somewhere, tangled up in his mom's prostitution ring.  Sigh.  My favorite memory of Steve was the end of year music show the choir put on, I sang and he played drums.  I have a pic of me sitting on his knee.  He was SO sweet.  

Randy and Ronnie (brothers)&nb sp;- oh my this is embarassing - I dated Randy, who was my age, in 9th grade and then his older brother Ronnie after being ditched by Randy.  Ronnie was "vertically challenged" (dwarf? not sure the politically/medically correct term) and FUNNY as hell.  I had to sneak to see him coz my parental units didn't approve.  He had an amazing attitude about life.  He also liked being "boob-high" to women.  ROFL! 

Tommy - his name wasn't really Tommy but he had everyone call him that.  I thought he was gorgeous in a strange Tom Petty kind of way (stop looking at me like that).  Blonde hair, blue eyes to die for.  Swoon!  He had a mega-deep bass voice but he rarely talked.  Played guitar (that musician thing).  Suspected of punching out a guy I was talking to.  I could have used his help with...

George -  I'll never understand why it took me 4 years to break up with him and put an end to all the abuse.  Thank God we never got married and I never got pregnant.  I learned that statutory rape has no expiration date in WV.  There were times when I wish I could inflict 1/4 of the pain on him he inflicted on me but I finally worked through the rage and now I just quietly hope he has a miserable life and burns in hell for eternity.  You should've seen what I wished for him when I hated him ;)

Steve H2 - my best friend in college through all the George years and beyond.  The night before I moved away the friendship took a wild turn and was forever marred.  I'm so sorry that happened.  We should've left well enough alone. 

Jim D - you lied every minute we were together but did it in such a way as to induce fascination, not anger.  I bet he's a top salesman for a company in a big city - or was beaten to death by irate customer/boss/husband of girlfriend ;)

I don't want to talk about anything more recent than that right now :)  Was kind of fun to think about the old days. 

 
If I could be a...
05.10.05 (10:44 am)   [edit]

Making the rounds (See JT and Lynne and ...)
Choose 5 from the following and elaborate:

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
(snip)
If I could be an astronaut...
If I could be a dictator...
If I could be an acrobat...
If I could be an inventor...
If I could be a parent...
If I could be an economist...

If I could be a ninja I'd secretly take out those people who pull into intersections even when their light is red hopelessly jamming traffic in multi-directions at once.

If I could be a bonnie pirate I'd go after Johnny Depp. I'd do that if I could be a llama rider, too. I'm still working out the details, but I find him quite fascinating. Mostly I just want to say piratey things. Yarrr!

If I could be a talk-show host, I'd challenge Tony Danza to a round on Win Ben Stein's Money, and if I win, he promises to disappear forever.

If I could be a scientist, I'd work on projects to clean the atmosphere. I was going to say I'd work on space-colonization projects, but why move on to other planets before we've learned to pick up after ourselves on this one?

If could be an inventor, I'd devise a way to produce and distribute foods to everyone. It's a crying shame that people ANYwhere are starving in the year 2005.

 
Standing on Your Own
05.10.05 (8:23 am)   [edit]

I wonder what your experiences were like the first time you moved out on your own.  Not necessarily college or military, but truly on your feet, on your terms. 

I was 21 fresh from University and looking for work.  I lived in WV with my parents and brother.  There were NO jobs in WV and I really wanted to stay in the area.  Then Mom and I had a massive blowout and I HAD to go.  I picked up a Cincinnati-area paper and have been here ever since.

It was scary as hell - I was 170 miles from anyone that knew me.  I had never been away from home before. I had lived at home all through college.  I didn't know it then but I had anxiety issues that worsened with alcohol - which I then leaned on to go to sleep, so I wound up in a viscious circle of drinking, panic attacks, more drinking, more depression... UGH.  It did finally get better, as I made friends at the apartment complex, put the liquor away and got help with the agoraphobia.  Nothing worse than a "thinker" with too much time to think and too much to drink! 

It was hard but what a feeling to prove to myself that I could do it!   Nobody can take that away from me.  I think it's especially important for a woman to know that she doesn't HAVE to be with someone, she can CHOOSE to be with someone.  BIG ASS difference! 

It's graduation time for a lot of young folks.  Embrace it and run with it!! Don't be afraid to screw up a time or two, or three... everyone does.  Enjoy discovering what you're like without parental controls.  That's when the REAL you emerges -- well, maybe after the 6 months to a year of rebellion subsides.  :)  Enjoy, and write about it - it'll be fun to look back 20 years later and see what you thought :)
 
If Pigs Had Wings
05.10.05 (7:51 am)   [edit]

If you aren't familiar with Heywood Banks, you NEED to be!  He's a brilliant songwriter and a nearly decent guitar player and he plays one HELLUVA toaster.  He kinda looks like Albert Einstein & Colonel Sanders had a love child, but I adore him!

Thank GOODNESS my daughter requested "that pig song" last night so I got to swap out the worn-out Disney Princess cd for Heywood Banks.  Songs like:  "If Pigs had Wings", "18 Wheels on a Big Rig", "Toast", "Looking at the World Through Flies Eyes"... flushed that Disney crap right on outta my head!  YAY! 

Oh there's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,1 2,13,14,15,16,17,18 wheels on a big rig! 
And they're rollin rollin rollin, Rollin rollin rollin!
Ok let's back'em up!
Oh there's 18,17,16,15,14,13,12,11,1 0,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 wheels on a big rig... and they're rollin rollin rollin, rollin rollin rollin!
Now just the even numbers!
Oh there's 2,4,6,8,10,12,14,16,18 wheels on a big rig!
... then odd numbers .... then ROMAN NUMERALS! (Oh there's i, ii, iii, iv, v, vi,...) (that's the bit that slays me everytime)
Now break out your wrist calculators and divide by pi! Oh there's 3.14159265* (pause) and they're rollin rollin rollin, rollin ROLLIN ROLLIN!!!!!

Oh, and you guys are gonna just MELT when you see Katie's new school pics.  Absolute darling - if I do say so myself!

*Corrected for Berlinbear a.k.a. Mr Smarty Britches 
 
HELP!
05.09.05 (2:05 pm)   [edit]

I have Pocahontas (TM) songs stuck in my head!!!!

Damn Disney Princess CD!   ;) 

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
 
Mom's Day and Late Nite TV
05.09.05 (2:03 am)   [edit]
Hope you folks had a good Sunday and that it continues into the week!

The weather was perfect today! I took Katie to a playland-type place. We nibbled pizza, painted our faces, played in the grocery store, colored Mother's Day cards, nibbled pizza, played the fishing game, nibbled pizza, splashed in water, etc. for hours. We met Doug for dinner then came home and she played outside with her little neighbor pals until dark. She was such a sweetie pie :)

I realized though that if the Nanny was filming, they wouldn't have used the 23.9 hours of loveliness, but the 5 minutes of the day where she was melting down. I decided I'm too judgemental based on too little information. Then I decided I've gotten too judgemental of others, period. I'll work on that log in my own eye for awhile :)

I zonked out with Katie at 10 and woke up at 2. Now I'm wide awake. Grr! 3 a.m. and I'm doing laundry and watching late nite .. no, SUNDAY late nite tv. Peee-Uuuu!. I finally stopped the channel flipping on reruns of the Hair Bear Bunch. Ooh! Oooh! This was a really lousy cartoon! But it's better than the crud on the other channels. No, maybe not. I'm going back to bed now!

Oh sheesh I nearly forgot. Please stop by chstanley's blog http://chstanley.tblog.com/ and leave positive vibes for her boy whose feet were burned in an accident... mkay?
 
Why I Love Judy
05.07.05 (5:00 pm)   [edit]
We don't have to speak in complete sentences - we know what is going to be said. This is an immense conservation of words and therefore time.
We can spend that extra time laughing. Studies show that people who laugh 15 minutes a day live longer. We figure we're good for at least another 100 years.
We don't have to clean house for each other. In fact, I feel better when I visit her and her place is messy, I feel like one of the family!
However, she doesn't appreciate being called "Martha" (as in Martha Stewart) ;)
She isn't afraid to eat a carbohydrate.
We drive the same way. You ever ride with someone who drives too slow, too fast, etc.? that makes me crazy.
Ever since Katie was born, Judy has made sure I get a Mother's Day card in the mail.
Jude's an amazing, talented woman. She can cook anything, sew anything, is a whiz at decorating, raised 3 boys and has nearly unlimited energy. And all with a big smile and a hearty laugh!

We had SO much fun today at the Appalachian Festival. This is one of my favorite festivals (next to Renaissance festivals). Acres of crafts and Appalachian music... it was marvelous. And we had no one in our ear, "I'm tired... my feet hurt... can we go now? This is boring.. I wanna go to the playground.. I gotta go potty.. Where are you going to put that?.. Do you REALLY need that?" We even splurged on lovely lacy shirts and sang "Happy Mother's Day to Us". I love hanging out with her! We made more than a few vendors laugh, too.

(Yawn) I'm not so limitless with my energy. I think I'll go nap now and nurse this sunburn because apparently this pale face can't be outside for 4 hours without scorching. I'm pink!
 
SCRAPBOOKING!
05.07.05 (10:58 am)   [edit]
I ADORE this hobby. It combines some of my favorite things - office supplies (which get me hot!!), photographs, doo-dads, colored paper... shiver. YUM! GREAT stuff. And all the cool pens? And scissors! and patterns! pant pant pant!

I have hundreds of dollars of supplies, between things I've bought and gifts I've received.

How many scrapbooks have I made? None.
How many scrapbook pages have I made? None.

Know why?

I can't bring myself to cut up photographs. Or glue them. EVEN if they are duplicates .. even triplicates!
I have a similar phobia about putting pictures on walls. Something about marring a nice clean wall with a nail hole is very hard for me. Weird, I know.

The mostest hard part about it, though, is the organization. Do I scrap chronological albums? Do I just scrap the big events? Do I make them for my mom? for Katie? for me? Do I go back and get my old photos redone?

Sad. I KNOW I'm sad.

At least I can say I've done something with them... Katie and I have used them to make cards - but it hasn't quite balanced out the cost yet. Errp!

Oooooo QVC is having Scrapbook supplies today!!!! (quick, change the channel!!!)
 
Streaming again!
05.06.05 (8:27 am)   [edit]

I haven't done one of these in awhile. Enjoy this 5 minute glimpse into the mess that is my brain.

I like bollocks - shame they're attached to a dick.  (one-liner I said in tblurt today that is still making me laugh)
I haven't learned any BusinessObjects (TM) by osmosis.  Apparently I have to do more than stare at the cover of this book.
Wonder what to do for lunch today. 
I will not shop.  I will not shop.  I will not shop (Visa card starting to sizzle)
I COULD pay bills. (BORING!)
I did all my work-related tasks by 9:30 this morning.  That's because I only had ONE. 
If I don't get some chocolate soon, someone is going to get hurt.
Gee. Think anyone will notice I'm PMSing?
Today is K's dance day - got her dressed in dance gear, got change of clothes and shoes into her dance bag, got her to school so that I'd make it to work at a decent hour for the first time this week... realized the dance bag was still hanging on the doorknob at home.
Screamed.
Got stuck behind school bus.
Got stuck behind garbage truck
Got stuck behind garbage truck which was stuck behind ANOTHER school bus.
Understand why road rage happens.
Got dance bag back to daycare before her dance class.  There is once again peace in the land.
Made it to work 20 minutes later than I'd wanted.
Realized it didn't make a bit of difference coz I have NOTHING TO DO!
I'm dispensible!  What if I lose my job? How will I shop?  How will I keep my chocolate supply?
Wonder (again) what I'll do for lunch today.
YIKES I better mail Mom's Mother's Day gift!  OVERNIGHT THAT BABY - STAT!
It's 9:40.  NOW what am I going to do.
I will open the Bus.Obj. book right now.  Yuck. Looks boring.
Ok, that killed 10 seconds, now what.
Is it quitting time yet?
Is it male-bashing if it's TRUE?
Back to tblurt!
Thank you, please drive through!

 
Hair Watching
05.05.05 (10:31 pm)   [edit]
I was going to write about people watching then I realized it was really the hair that I found so fascinating.

At the courthouse yesterday, I saw hairstyles that I haven't seen since the 80's. BIG BIG BIG hair, oodles of hairspray and bad perms. This is when we thought mullets actually looked good. Some of the bad stuff was in the 20 year old video, the others were walking around the hallways. Most of them were female.

Today at the store, I saw a man who looked pretty fine from the front - 3 piece suit, finely combed hair. Then he walked the other way and his hair ... oh my, I nearly laughed out loud. It was feathered back so far that the "feathers" met at the back of his head and formed a V. It - and I don't know why, since it looked nothing like mine - reminded me of a vagina. I barely kept from busting a gut.

I'm the first to tell you that today was a horrid hair day for me. I slept late and didn't have time to shower and "fluff" (naturally curly-haired people will understand), so I pulled it back in a ponytail and off I went. Maybe the vagina-headed guy was snickering at me, too, as he walked away. I almost hope so, coz I sure was giggling at him.

Here's to a better hair day tomorrow!
 
Goo Goo Ga Joob
05.05.05 (7:41 am)   [edit]
I'm here, staying here, I am me and we are we and all that rot.

I just caught myself saying "there's an iguana on the organ". No really, there was.   (Magic School Bus watchers will relate)

Anyway, the reason why... I realized I was doing it again.  Caretaking.  I know Doug reads this (Hi Doug) and rather than him read something he may not want to see, was going to hide it elsewhere.  Well...  screw that. 

So hi world, what's new? 
 
To Blog or Not To Blog...
05.04.05 (12:36 pm)   [edit]
That is the question of the day.

Part of the divorce process when children are involved is to attend a parenting class.  One of the main messages I took away from the class is that the focus of the ex-spouses' relationship becomes more like a business partnership.  You don't have to love or even like your co-workers, but you do have to be polite and work out your business transactions together.  In this situation, the "transaction" is the visitations with our daughter.

Among the other things that made me think about, I realized that this blog is a very personal yet public thing.  I write about my deeper, inner thoughts here and he reads them, often comments.  Sometimes that's ok with me, other times it makes me uncomfortable.  I already edit what I say here with that in mind.  

But I love my little bloggie.  I feed it, I brush it, I love it every day!  I don't want to leave it.  I don't want him to avoid it because the Katie stories are pretty cute!  It doesn't make sense to put them out here where strangers can read them (and yea, some of you are pretty strange!) and ask her Dad not to... 

So I guess I continue this blog as-is, and use a "secret" blog to talk about the things that are really on my mind?  I hate the dichotomy of it - plus it's hard to keep all those passwords straight ;)  

BLEH.  That's how I feel about it.  BLEH.   
Nothing about divorce is simple, ya know?  Not a damn thing.
 
Time Traveler Convention!
05.03.05 (12:22 pm)   [edit]

See you There! (Then!)  http://web.mit.edu/adorai/timetraveler" title="http://web.mit.edu/adorai/timetraveler" target="_blank"http://web.mit.edu/adorai/tim...


 


 
 
PSA: Mother's Day is Near
05.03.05 (11:23 am)   [edit]

It's this coming Sunday.  Don't say you weren't warned ;)

I've gotten (but not yet mailed) Mom a gift that I think she's gonna LOVE (quite pleased with myself, don't ya know!).  But I'd like to also share something with her.  Would it be inappropriate to say, "Mom, stop.  You're missing it."

Mom is the Martha in the parable of Mary and Martha.  Mary was in the room with Jesus listening to his teachings while Martha was busy with all the preparations.  Martha complained to Jesus - can't you just hear it? "I'm doing ALL this by myself and she's just sitting there like a couch potato..."  Jesus's response indicated that Mary had chosen something important too, to refill her spirit. 

Mom is 100% Martha.  I'd like her to try to be Mary for awhile.  I wish Mom would just sit.  Sit and watch Katie for a while.  Not be thinking of the next toy to bring out, or what lesson she could share (always the teacher, my mom!) ... but just breathe and be.  She can't do it.  She just can't sit still.  It drives me crazy - and makes me feel guilty about the time when I choose to sit still and she thinks I should be doing something else! 

I think she missed most of the "moments" when my brother and I were small.  You know, the little moments that I just REVEL in now.  Katie practicing her ballet moves, mothering her babies, telling knock-knock jokes.  I bask in it.  Maybe because I never felt like anyone noticed me (that sounds whiny, sorry).  I want to tie Mom down and say STOP.  Look.  Listen.  See this?  This moment will never be reclaimed.  I don't CARE if the glasses are still on the table.  Let them sit.  Your family is more important.  Come, come BE.  Come sit at the feet and drink in all that really matters. 

But how do I get her to "get it"?

 
Nanny 911
05.03.05 (9:58 am)   [edit]
I've heard about this show but not watched it before last night.  The jist of it is that families with wild children are observed by the Nanny (kinda like a one-woman SWAT team) then taught how to regain control.  I figure I could always pick up a thing or two so I flipped it on. 

We tuned in as Nanny took away all the sippy cups and made the boys sleep in their own beds (not a family bed, as they'd done before).  The boys were quite upset and throwing fits.  I don't know how it ended.  Katie went nuts.  Screaming that she was thirsty and demanding a cup right that INSTANT, throwing things, even spat at me!  (WTF?)

This is guaranteed to awaken Monster Mommy.  I'm mellow. I believe screaming at children is not a first resort and doesn't necessarily yield the desired results - but firmness does.  But I also believe there is a time and place for everything and she had just insured it was time.  As I was getting up from the floor (I was putting together one of those horrid cases that require Allen wrenches and 40-11 parts) to deal with her she ran upstairs to her room.  I could hear her lock her door (a definite no-no) - which I promptly popped open - and then she was hiding in her closet.
WTF?!!! 
I asked her to come out.  "NO!"  Ok then, good night.  I closed the door behind me and left her there.  I went into my room and started reading.  A few minutes passed.  She came in.  All smiles.  She'd changed her clothes and was ready to brush her teeth and get into bed.   
Again - WTF?!? 
The boys' crying upset her, she said, and she was afraid I was going to throw away all her things and leave her alone.  Ahhh.   She snuggled up against me, "Do you still love me Mama?"  "Absolutely, my little love.  Even when we disagree, even when I'm angry, I always love you."  She snuggled up for a Princess story and went to sleep.  Well, then Doug called, we talked to him for a minute or two, then finished the story and went to sleep. 

I guess there will be little outbursts from time to time and no telling what will trigger it.  I guess it's healthy for her, but it sure made my head spin for a few minutes! 
 
CitiBank - Spare a Tree!
05.02.05 (2:11 pm)   [edit]

Stop mailing me your credit card applications.
I HAVE a credit card.  I don't WANT your credit card.
Mailing me a pack of info every damn day will only strengthen my resolve to NEVER have one of your credit cards.

Spare a tree, quit mailing so much crap to my house.
Love and kisses,
Sheryl

 
How Republican Are You?
05.01.05 (7:57 pm)   [edit]

 





--I am:
27%
Republican.--

--"You're probably one of those people who still thinks that getting a blowjob is not an impeachable offense."--

Are You A Republican?
 
One New Thing Per Day
05.01.05 (4:02 pm)   [edit]
This is my new motto, at least an experiment for awhile :) I fear being stuck in a rut, so I'm going to try to do one new thing a day. Or if not new, at least do something that I might usually put off or avoid.

Problem is, I'm not very creative. Keeping it legal, any suggestions?
 
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