I'm reading the community newspaper, the Police Reports section.  Ready for this? 

Animal parts laying on the ground in the back of Taste Wok (guess what kind of restaurant?), employees at the (neighboring store) concerned about ongoing problem, County Board of Health contacted and responded for inspection, employees also reported that the owner of Taste Wok pulled up in his personal vehicle last week and dumped what appeared to be a bucket of blood into the grease receptacle, the officer has dealt with this incident before and has contacted the Board of Health, March 15.

When I lived at my previous address, we got carry out from this place a few times and I didn't like the meat there because it was chewy.  Oh My God, what did I EAT!?  I think I'm gonna be sick.

Rest in Peace, Terri.  Your life has been an example to the world to make sure your wishes are known ahead of time. 

If there a chance I can recover, I want the top people fighting to save my life - I didn't come this far to give up.  However, if after a few years a panel of doctors finds that I'm in a permanent vegetative state, then please pull the plug and donate whatever is needed to whoever can use it.  Folks, check your local laws and do a Living Will.  Now.

I am taking care of things at home just fine (Yay me!).  Made contact to get the lawn mowed and sidewalks trimmed.  Made contact for maid service (ooo, a splurge!).  I've checked all the numbers and it should be within budget, so I'm doing it.  Two less things to juggle, more "fun" time with Katie.  Worth it! 

Still wading through the paperwork to file for the divorce, but I'm getting them into shape.  Damn they want to know a lot!   Luckily I keep good records, just a matter of tossing them together.

That's about all the news from Lake Wobegon, where the men are strong, the women are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband 2 years ago?"  She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father."

The Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?"  She replied, "No, not yet, Father", and The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer husband."  She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father"

They then parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?"  She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!"

The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones?"  She replied, "Oh yes Father, three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all."

The Father said, "That's wonderful! How is yer loving husband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.

Let's all go! 

JT?  any others within a 2-3 hour drive?  Let's get a group of hotel rooms and make a party of it!!  Can we huh can we huh?!?! http://www.childrensmuseum.org/catalog/home.asp" title="http://www.childrensmuseum.org/catalog/home.asp" target="_blank"http://www.childrensmuseum.or...

Please oh please oh please??

And maybe visit the race track too?  (bats eyes innocently)  VROOM!

What? Oh! 

Erin go braugh! 

I knew it was something like that.

I have a smidgeon or two of Irish blood in me, so like many Americans, that's as good a reason as any to wear green today and celebrate the holiday! 

The holiday is to honor St. Patrick, who organized Christianity in Ireland. There are many legends about his works, some may even be true ;) 

 
This of course has translated (at least in America?) to a "Mardis-Gras-in-Green"&nb sp; where the objective is to dress like leprechauns and eat and drink to excess items that have been dyed with green food coloring. 

Which, when done properly, will lead to something looking more like this...

Enjoy your day!

And yes, FWB, I know Patrick was most likely born in Wales, so happy day to you, too! ;)

Dancing a jig to the Clancy Brothers cd...
Sheryl

The cute little mood-sketch off to the right is from UnkyMoods.  This morning I signed in Tblog and it said I was "Smitten".  Huh??  Then I changed the code to what I thought was "Concerned" and it came up "Pregnant"!  After scraping myself off the ceiling, I finally got it right. Now.. STAY. 

Tired of waiting for it to be fixed - This will at least pull up the calendars for earlier posts.

January
February

I'm deadly serious.  Acoustic guitar and acoustic bass, coming to the midwest and east coast.  If you're anywhere NEAR the vicinity of these gigs, check them out.  Most of them are free unless otherwise noted. 

What it is - Mike Keneally and Bryan Beller are doing guitar clinics for Taylor guitars (absolutely fant-as-orgasmo guitars).  The ones I've been to are a wonderful mishmash of performance (free concert!) with a few sales pitches tossed in, quizzes where winning answers earn things such as packs of guitar strings, and they take requests!  The weirder, the better.

Do go, please oh please do go!  And give them big slurpy kisses in the ear for me.  They love that.  No, really  ;)  Two greater guys you cannae meet.

Monday, March 14, 7 p.m.
Manchester, Missouri  Fazio's Frets & Friends
(636) 227-3573

Tuesday, March 15, 7:30 p.m.
Louisville, Kentucky  Steilberg String Instruments
(502) 491-2337

Wednesday, March 16, 7 p.m.
Columbus, Ohio  Guitar Center
(614) 436-2600

Thursday, March 17, 7 p.m.
Monroeville, Pennsylvania  Guitar Center
(412) 372-8800
Celebrate St. Patricks Day with them!  Take them some ale!

Friday, March 18, 7 p.m.
Frederick, Maryland  Make 'N' Music
(301) 662-8822

Saturday, March 19, 6 p.m.
Fairless Hills, Pennsylvania  Pro Line Music
(215) 736-8055
Admission: $5.00

Sunday, March 20, 5 p.m.
Sterling, Virginia
(part of "Acoustifest 2005") Melodee Music
(703) 450-4667
Admission: $5.00

Monday, March 21, 7 p.m.
Roanoke, Virginia
(Presented by Fret Mill Music Co.) Wyndham Roanoke Airport
Airport?  That should be interesting acoustics
(540) 982-6686
Admission: Donation of canned goods

Wednesday, March 23, 6 p.m.
Shillington, Pennsylvania  Fred's Music Shop
(610) 777-3733

Thursday, March 24, 7 p.m.
Towson, Maryland  Guitar Center
(410) 821-5200

I was browsing my college (University, to be exact) website and discovered 3 of my favorite professors are still there.  I emailed one of them.  I only had her for one class but it was SO interesting (yes, MATH can be INTERESTING) and fun that it had a big impact on me.  We've emailed back and forth the past couple of days and I learned that my favorite math prof has since passed on.  I miss you, Hogie-old-Finogie. 

I also remembered that about 10 years ago I was in a little deli in a suburb of Cincinnati and saw a woman that looked just like my 9th grade art teacher.  She was a flitty kind of person, but truly kind.  I loved her and therefore loved the class as well.  We had fun projects and I learned to macrame and she introduced us to such wonderful works. 

Anyhoo, I walked up to her and said "This sounds crazy, but did you used to teach in Huntington, WV" and as soon as she turned and answered I KNEW it was her. I gave her a big hug and said Thank You!  She was very kind to me in those horrid-angst-self-doubtin g days and helped me see my worth.  She had - and still has - the biggest smile!

So, if you're an old-fart like me, look up a teacher that meant something to you and say Thanks.  If you're still in school, be sure to let them know when they do something particularly kind.  It will make their day - and yours - a little brighter.

In Memory of Dr. John W. Hogan, Marshall University

Sometimes it's fun to put the shoe on the other paw, so to speak. If Toby is being particularly annoyin g  I just say "do you wanna dance?"  His ears lean back and he flicks his tail.  In other words, "No dammit don't do that to me again."

Here's how to do the Hated Toby Dance.  With the cat facing you, slip your thumbs over their front "arms" and your pointer fingers in their "pits", with the rest of your hand wrapped around their shoulders.  Lift until they're standing up, back feet on the floor (or your lap), their front paws are extended straight forward.  Then twist their upper body side to side quickly and make a eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh sound in rhythm to the twist. 

Man, he hates that. 

Visit GIFFLIX  for loads of free images! 

Email them or comment here with suggestions for improving the site.

PS - the guys that run it are really cute, too!  ;)

My dear friend Andrew (a.k.a. Furry Welsh Bastard) ;) has introduced me to the KEENEST musician - Greg Howard.  Greg plays the Chapman Stick, a .. well.. hmm... think of it as a stick that can replace both a bass and guitar.  That's a lame description, but LOOK at this puppy:

 I swiped the picture from his website, www.greghoward.com.

I first became aware of the Chapman Stick instrument at a John Paul Jones concert - the bass player from Led Zepplin?  What a f'ing hot concert.   JPJ was phenomenal, of course, and he had this amazingly gorgeous stick player named Nick Beggs, who wore a black leather kilt and I wasn't sure which was more sexy - the stick or the kilt ;) 

Something about watching a man handle his stick, and handle all that intricate fingering, just DOES it for me.  And now Andrew is a month away from attending a workshop with Mr. Greg Howard over in Amsterdam, the lucky FWB.

If you like the sound of acoustic guitar and are game for something even more amazing, take a listen to Greg Howard's CDs. I ordered "Stick Figures" from Amazon and can hardly stop listening to it.  Lovely stuff.  And if you like to get down and dirty with your bass, check out John Paul Jones ;)  Rrrrowwwrrr! 

This has happened to me too often this morning for it not to be a trend.

Scenario:

I went to Sam's Club this morning to buy gas. 
Everyone else in the area is charging $2.09/gallon today. 
The sign at Sam's said "price with card, $1.97/gallon"
I start filling my tank and the price displayed said $1.79.
I checked the pump next to mine, it was ringing up at $1.79, too.
I called people to tell them that they've got the price mis-keyed in the database, and go fill up QUICK!
Makes sense, right, 1.97 and 1.79?  When everyone else is charging $2.09?
Ok -
The females responded with "Great deal!"
The males responded with "well you always get a discount when you use the Sam's card."  Like "how stupid are you to get excited about it."

Is it just me, or did the males NOT GET IT. 

Men. They always think they know everything and that poor little Sheryl is too dumb to know that you get a FUCKING DISCOUNT when you use the FUCKING CARD at a place I've been buying FUCKING GAS for FUCKING YEARS.  I know you get a discount - but never THAT much of a discount - it's 3 cents a gallon, you jerk.

I hit the last guy that said it.  In fact, I hit him twice.  I might even do it again.

Guys here's a tip - when a woman is excited about something - particularly finding a bargain?  Don't PISS ALL OVER IT.  Just say "wow, that's great." and move on.  That's ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY. 

And now I shall stomp off for caffeine, as I haven't had any yet today.  Can you tell? 

What's that?  Hormones?  I'll fucking show you hormones!!! 

Blatantly stolen from my pal Ben's LiveJournal, who found a page of re-designed romance novels.  I swear this one made me cry from laughing!

Click the pic for more!

My boss very kindly let me take 90 minutes this morning to run get my taxes done.  I'm working (ok, I'm blogging) t hrough lunch hour to make up for it ;) 

I go to a nearby tax prep office.  I used them last year and was pretty happy with them so I went back again this year.  AND I got to use my $10 coupon - WOO! 

Here's the extent of the paperwork: 
4 sets of W2s - 1 for me, 3 for Dougie
1 bank form for interest earned
1 mortgage statement for prop tax and interest paid
1 receipt from daycare for childcare expenses
last year's tax return

Since I'm onfile there already, information like social security, dependents, etc. was prefilling on the computer screens.  A nice timesaving feature!

Guess how long I was there.  Go ahead, guess! 
....... Nope, longer.
An hour and FORTY MINUTES. 
Good Lord!  and it cost $218 with my coupon.

I'm doing my own taxes next year, thank you very much.