This morning I had a BRILLIANT idea for a new post.  Anyone have any idea what it was?!   Oops!  :shock:

Seen on a Maxine magnet:
Age doesn't make us forgetful.  Having way too many stupid things to remember makes us forgetful.

I find I forget more things everyday. At least, I think I do... umm.. what was I talking about?

Oh MY GOD.  I've heard 2 or 3 of the tunes on various tv shows lately and was WAY intrigued.  So I just happened to be driving by Best Buy today and went in.  There's an "artsy" tune with Lemon Jelly, country with Brad Paisley, punk with Henry Rollins, pop/rock with Ben Folds and/or Joe Jackson, with Ben Folds doing all the arranging and producing.  Bill talks all the way through, with various guest and background vocalists. 

If you have $14 to kill, pick up a copy.  Musically it's fun and to hear Bill Shatner babble over top "very importantly" - well it just cannot be missed.  And if you're still not sure?  Well, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. 

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
 
My significant other, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green.  When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.  Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.

I wear a size 7 ring, by the way - and prefer 20" chains on necklaces... just in case you were wondering.

(added hours later when tblog woke back up)
Ok, I'll 'fess up :) My dream date …

First – I am Ms. Independent. I have had a job for 20 years and am self-sufficient. I pay my bills, I manage the household, I make most of the decisions, etc. That said ... I want a date where I'm not responsible for anything – he would make all the arrangements, handle all the checks, open all the doors. There would be positive energy flow and relaxation. I want to feel valued – that means asking my opinions, hearing them out - and keeping the conversation at a level higher than 5^th grade.

We’d dress up a little and spend the afternoon doing something culturally and intellectually stimulating – a museum would be nice. We could hold hands as we stand silently and absorb the beauty. An occasional arm around the shoulders, a kiss on the cheek, drinking it all in and reveling in being together. Oh. And a gift shop. Hvn is always happy in a gift shop :)

And then we could go somewhere for a sinfully delicious dessert – maybe even get it to go and go to a park near the water. Watching children play, lovers walk together, boats passing by – dreaming of their cargos and destinations. Feet touching under the table, stealing glances at each other, laughing and enjoying every morsel, every sip, every breath. He takes me in his arms, cups my face in his hands, looks me right in the eye, and lets me know I am the most wonderful person in his world... then leans down and kisses me fully.

Ahhhh…. Yes. That would be perfect.

Borrowed from Emotion's  blog - she has the coolest stuff, go look!

1. Wallet: black leather - so full it hardly snaps shut anymore (not money!)
2. Hairbrush: silver, open like the kind you use w/ a hairdryer (which I don't use)
3. Toothbrush: one purple, one pink, one with batteries!  
4. Jewelery worn daily: new to my warddrobe - 3 Celtic-knot silver rings (sizes 7, 8, and 9 for anyone who cares to know)
5. Blanket: fuzzy and blue (like Grover only lighter)
6. Coffee cup: tea, not coffee - styrofoam from the machine
7. Sunglasses: none - had some prescription ones but they vanished
8. Underwear: today - white, yesterday - purple!
9. Shoes: Dr. Scholls leather "Mary Janes", taupe
10. Handbag: taupe leather with 3 zippers, to insure I can never remember where anything is.  Fave part: TWO outside pockets, one for cell phone, one for pda (Geek)!
11. Favorite shirt: nothing with buttons, too buxomy - t-shirt style.  Many favorites ("What Not to Wear" would hate me)
12. Eau De Toilette: no parfumes, perfumes, colognes, etc.  just me.
13. CD in stereo right now: a bizarre mix from a friend (hi Key! Wtf is this?! It's Zappa, isn't it! sneaky bastage! LOL!  Now it's Eddie Murphy's "Boogie in Your Butt" song! AAAHHHH!!!)
14. Tattoos: none
15. Piercings: 1 in each ear. 
16. What you are wearing now: clothes, silly, I'm at work
17. Hair: yes.  Lt. brown, shoulder length and wild (naturally curly and untameable)
18. Makeup: Jet Black masacara, pink lipstick, no nail polish

I need your help.

My mom turns 65 on Halloween.  She lives about 5 hours away and misses her granddaughter very much (me, not so much, apparently)  ;)

I have 10 days to prepare and mail something - and I have NO inkling what.  Any suggestions for something that could make this long distance grandmother feel closer? 

Saw this on Emotion's blog and liked the concept

A - Age : 40 something
B - Band listening to right now : Kevin Gilbert

C - Career in future: Retired
D - Dad's name: Michael
E - Easiest person to talk to: Judy (she SO gets me)

F - Favourite song at the moment: "When You Give Your Love to Me" by Kevin Gilbert (cutest lil love song I've ever seen)
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Gummy Bears
H - Hometown: Charleston, WV (as opposed to Birthplace)
I - Instruments: Piano (plunkily), dulcimer (twangily), voice (folkily)
K - Kids: 1

L - Longest car ride ever: From Charleston WV to Orlando FL
M - Mom's name: Helen
N - Number of siblings: 1

P - Phobia[s]: bees, heights, sometimes flying
Q - Favourite Quote: "You have to be the way we want the world to
be.” Mike Keneally

R - Reason to smile: My daughter is precious
S - Song you sang last: "Bite" by Bryan Beller (it’s nasty! woo!)
T - Time you wake up: between 6:30 – 7 a.m.
U - Unknown fact about me: after blogging for a year, I think there are no secrets left!

V - Vegetable(s) you hate: beets, brussel sprouts, purple cabbage
W - Worst habit: playing with my hair
X - X-rays you've had: arm, ankle, teeth
Y - Yummy food: lasagna (just call me Garfield)
Z - Zodiac sign: Sagittarius (Twang! that was my arrow)

Name 4 bad habits you have
* eating Chocolate Fudge Frosted Poptarts for breakfast
* blogging from work
* not walking for exercise
* i'd answer #4 but i'm busy procrastinating

Name 4 things you wish you could have
* no debt (only 28 more years of payments on the house!)
* a waistline that goes in, not out
* a year of good night's sleep (with Gerard Butler!)
* peace of mind 

Name 4 Scents you love
*Chocolate
* roses
* a clean man
* a sweaty man ;)  Yeah baby, yeah!

Name 4 people who know you best
* Judy
* Julie
* Eraserhead667
* Never you mind! ;)

Odd, it didn’t occur to me to list my parents. I don’t think they know me all that well. Shame.

Name 4 things you never wear
* a thong
* high heels
* pantyhose
* contacts (tried that – OUCH)

Name 4 things you are thinking about now
* man I'm sleepy
* hope Katie has a good day
* did I take my pills this morning?
* :-P

Name 4 things I have done today
* tidied up Katie’s bed
* finished the main security matrix for work project
* coughed up a lung (damned cold!)
* this blog (slow day, eh!)

Name the last 4 things I have bought
* Fall/Winter clothes for Katie
* Celtic jewelry on ebay
* a new pair of comfy shoes for me
* a birthday card for Mom

Name 4 bands/Groups most people don’t know you like
* Mike Keneally (not so secret but check him out, darnit)
* Michael Manring (oooo what a bass player)
* Willie Nelson  I’ve always loved his voice – especially on Stardust.
* Rick Braun (smooooth sax – steamy hot - whew!)

Name 4 drinks you regularly drink
* Diet Coke / Diet Cherry Coke
* hot tea
* Iced tea
* milk LOVE cold cold cold milk, sometimes even with ice cubes.

Name 4 things you regularly put off
* cleaning out the garage
* putting clean clothes away
* cleaning out my e-mailboxes
* making really big decisions

 Last songs you sang ….
* God Loves me More than You ... (Hey Nunny Nunny show)
* Bite (Bryan Beller song)
* Whatever 80’s tune was on the radio last night
* EggyPoop (my daughter’s creation)

Last thing you laughed at …
gambit3131’s blog

Last time I cried
Sunday

What is in my CD Player
Nino Rota (Godfather theme +)

What color socks are you wearing
yellow

What is under my bed
a box of books, old purses, dust balls, possibly a cat.

What is my current hair color
naturally light brown (was blonde - what's with getting darker as I get older?) with auburn highlights - and a few grays (I earned them!). 

Current clothes
my "flowery" slacks, yellow sweater, navy blue jacket - and I'm STILL cold

Current annoyance
People who do long blogs that just ramble on and on about themselves ;)

Current hate
political debates & advertising

Favorite thing about the opposite sex
they’re so interesting to observe  

If you could play any instrument
guitar

Favorite place to be
in my mountains or at the beach

Least favorite place
a loud smoky bar (cough, cough)

Favorite color(s)
pink, purple

How tall are you
5'3" 

Current favorite word saying(s)
groovy, faboolous,  “oh pants”

Favorite season
Fall - reminds me to slow down and enjoy the color

One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to
the grandparents that died before I was born

Favorite Day
of the week?  Saturday
of the year?  Christmas.  I LOVE giving gifts.  Love it.  Especially the “perfect” gift.  I’m jonesin’ just thinking about it! Let's go shopping!

Where would you like to go
UK – I’ve wanted to go there since I was about 5 years old - that's United Kingdom, not University of Kentucky  ;)

What is my career going to be like
I'd love to retire, frankly.  I’ve worked for 20 years and would like to retire before I’m too old to enjoy it.

Man, I never did anything half that fun! We did the usual - partially unscrew the lids on the salt shakers, that sort of thing ... How about you, any pranksters out there?
Oh, I forgot! When a co-worker was due to have her baby any minute, we saran-wrapped her chair to protect it when her water broke. Good thing she had a since of humor.

Swiped from MissKendy and if I couldn't get the original questions I made some up!

Use band or song titles to describe yourself

Are you male or female: Lady  (Kenny Rogers)

How you describe yourself:  Crazy (Patsy Cline)

How do some people feel about you:  She Blinded me With Science (Thomas Dolby) I just wanted to work that one in here!

Describe an ex-SO:  Ya Done Stomped On My Heart (and mashed that Sucker Flat)  (Williams)   :cry:

Describe your current-SO:  Lucky  :!:

Describe where you want to be: I Love LA (Randy Newman) or Country Roads or Leavin on a Jet Plane AND Safe In the Arms of Love (Martina McBride) I usually dislike country music but I like the lyrics

Describe what you want to be:  Brick House (Commodores)

Describe how you live:  Happy Days (theme song)

Describe how you love:  Best of My Love (Eagles)  + Hot Blooded (Foreigner)

Describe your job:  House of Fun  (Madness) or Safety Dance (Men Without Hats) 

Share a few words of wisdom:  You Cain't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd and lets not forget those immortal words ... Cat, I'm a Kitty Cat, and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance. 

Well, that last post was fun!  Now for something a little less busty:
How did you choose your nickname?  

Years ago I wanted a nick to reflect that my heart is in West Virginia.  MtnMama was taken so AlmstHvn was my next choice, and it kinda stuck! 

This is the painting that Mike Keneally did for us.  His brain is pretty cool.  In case it doesn't come through, it's of a lady holding a plate of pancakes.  It makes me smile.

I discovered (sounds better than "came across") vibrators for sale on E-bay.

"New in package"  My first thought?  I SHOULD HOPE SO.  I have no desire to share a vibrator with a stranger. 

My second thought?  "in package".. heh heh heh... they said package.

I need to get out more.

Have to change out my credit card because someone (Amazon?)'s security got breached and leaked a load of account numbers.

In my case, it appears it was caught before any illicit charges could be made so it's more annoyance than anything. It's certainly put me in a :evil: mood. On the plus, good for AT&T for notifying me so quickly or who knows what might have happened. Bastards.

You know what's scary? I had 2 choices: wait 7-10 business days for the new cards to arrive via regular mail or get overnight via UPS. The thought of going over a week with no credit card made me so nervous I opted for the overnight. That's pretty sad!

I rarely do the political thing here, but this made me laugh.
Let's make up some captions!

Oh heck, why limit it to bad wedding gifts (previous blog)?  How about Birthday, Christmas, etc.?  Ya know, with the holidays coming up maybe your experience will inspire someone :)

What gift have you gotten (or given!) that made you go Huh?
Not to say we shouldn't be grateful for gifts yadeeyadee - I mean things like...

Every Christmas my grandfather's wife used to give me extra-tall, extra dark pantyhose (long before colored tights were vogue) - and I'm 5'3" and whiter than a sheet of paper!

Not for points but lets see how many different answers we get ...

Without looking, name something that is in your wallet
Don't forget to ring in with a beedeeep! and I only kiss the guys ;)